The Birds and the Bees
by OneLeafTree
Summary: After an embarrassing incident at a motel following a hunt, it has become apparent that Jack does not know the facts of life. Sam, Dean and Castiel take turns giving Jack the "the talk". Hilarity ensues, plus some drama. Brotherly/family/friendship fic, no pairings. Warnings inside.
1. Chapter 1 The Incident

**Summary: After an embarrassing incident at a motel following a hunt, it has become apparent that Jack does not know the facts of life. Sam, Dean and Castiel take turns giving Jack the "the talk". Hilarity ensues, plus some drama. Brotherly/family/friendship fic, no pairings.**

 **Warnings: Some description of suggestive sexual acts, nothing graphic. Coarse language/cursing.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.  
**

* * *

 **Chapter one: The incident**

They were all exhausted. It had been one hunt after another. But their latest escapade had gone especially badly. Dean was driving them all back to the bunker. Sam sat stiffly beside Dean, while Castiel and Jack occupied the back passenger seats.

The impala smelt of dirt and the unmistakable smell of body odour that came with the grueling sort hunt they had all just experienced.

Sleep deprivation and semi starvation always put Dean in a terrible mood, he scowled deeply and held the wheel of the impala in almost a choke hold. "Bloody witch". He muttered under his breath. "I hate witches". Dean said for what could have easily been the twentieth time in one hour.

Sam sighed silently and pointedly stared out the window, trying to find a comfortable position. But each time he moved, his body seemed to make him aware of a new bruise.

Jack held in a groan when he realized they were still more than four hours away from home.

Sam shifted again, this only seemed to irritate Dean even more.

"Why do you keep shifting in your seat!?" Dean turned to glare at his brother. "Do you need the potty?" He asked mockingly.

Sam glowered back at him weakly. "Just drive".

"What do you think I've been doing for the past hour and a half?!" Dean shot back.

"Then let me drive." Sam said offered tiredly.

Dean looked astounded, as though he couldn't believe Sam had even suggested driving his 'baby', but before he could reply, Castiel spoke up.

"Dean, you're being a bitch." The angel stated simply.

"What was that?!" Dean viciously snapped his head back to glare at Castiel.

"I said you're being a bitch." He repeated. "Sam keeps shifting in his seat because he is hurting from his injuries."

"I'm fine Castiel." Sam asserted quickly.

"What injuries?" Dean demanded looking at his brother, he still sounded angry but there was also unmistakable concern in his voice.

"You would not be in pain if you would only let me heal you." Castiel said in an accusing voice.

"I don't need healing, these are only bruises." Sam said tersely.

Those words sparked a shouting match between Sam, Dean and Castiel.

Jack knew Sam was refusing to be healed by Castiel because he felt guilty for the life they couldn't save on their last hunt. Sam had come up dry in his research, but when he did eventually have a breakthrough, someone had already been killed by then. It wasn't Sam's fault, Jack knew that, everyone else knew that, Sam should also know that.

But Jack also knew to keep out of this conversation or rather argument. He had nothing useful to say, and even if he did, he knew if he opened his mouth as well, it would only add fuel to the fire.

After a few minutes, things had simmered down and Dean was back to muttering about witches again.

Jack hoped that would be the end of it, but Castiel spoke again.

"Sam…" He started in a slow and deadly serious tone.

But Sam was having none of it "Look at you!" Sam twisted his body to face Castiel, he winced as his body protested to the sudden movement. "You've been healing us continuously for the past week." Sam looked at the angel sympathetically. "You look haggard."

Castiel frowned thoughtfully. But before he could reply Jack interjected not wanting for there to be another verbal contest.

"We're all tired." He said, carefully pronouncing each syllable.

Without turning his head, Dean glanced at the youngest member of their troupe through the mirror. Jack sat in the back passenger seat looking like a deflated sausage dog.

"Yes, we are." Castiel admitted.

Dean stared at the road ahead for a few minutes, his brows knitted together in a light frown.

"Okay, how about we find a motel? Crash there for the night and head back to the bunker in the morning." Dean stated, it wasn't really a question and no one disagreed.

Castiel made a non-committal sound, not even bothering to hide the fact that he was sulking.

"Sounds good". Jack quipped up with enthusiasm he was definitely not feeling, he just wanted something positive to say.

Sam used his phone to look up the nearest motel, which turned out to be a good forty minute ride away.

Jack couldn't decide if the silence that filled the car was awkward or welcome. He desperately thought of something to say but Sam beat him to it.

"I tripped." Sam said finally.

"What?" Dean asked roughly.

"I tripped in the garden." Sam sighed at the blank look on his brother's face. "I was in the garden, I could see you and Castiel fighting the witch in the kitchen through the back window."

Dean looked at him puzzled. "And?"

"What happened?" Castiel asked softly.

"I just told you." Sam sighed exasperatedly, not looking at anyone. "I tripped. I made a run for the back door and I tripped over the garden hose and fell onto a bunch of ceramic planters."

"What?" Castiel sounded confused.

"That's why I don't want to be healed by you Castiel." Sam said quietly, but the angel heard him. "I was careless and made a stupid mistake. You shouldn't have to exhaust yourself for my clumsiness."

"Sam, still…" The angel started, looking as concerned as ever.

Sam risked a glance up at his brother. He saw Dean's frown slowly morph into a half grin. "Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight, you got beaten up by a bunch of plant pots?!"

"I wasn't beaten up Dean!" Sam protested, his ears turning pink. "Didn't you hear what I just said?"

"Dude that's priceless!" The amusement was clear in this voice.

Dean was openly smiling now, he looked through his front mirror at Jack, the young man looked both worried and confused. And that serious expression was what set Dean off, he burst out laughing. Sam started slowly, but soon he was almost doubled over with laughter.

Jack exchanged a look with Castiel that said the Winchester brothers have gone mad.

"It hurts to laugh." Sam said breathlessly. "Stop it Dean."

"You deserve it!" Dean shot back. "Oh man, I'm never gonna let you live this down."

"Lighten up Jack!" Dean shouted jovially, all traces of exhaustion gone from his voice.

Jack jumped up at suddenly being called out, he honestly didn't understand exactly what was so funny, but he offered a small genuine smile nonetheless. To see his brothers happy was enough to put him in a good mood.

* * *

They checked into the motel a little after 11pm. It was cheap and looked clean enough, except you couldn't quite shake the feeling that everything looked like it would be sticky.

There were eight guest rooms in total, four on the left side and four on the right side. The left and right side were connected by a large communal bathroom in the center, giving the building a U-shaped layout.

The manager had been less than happy to check in four guys that looked like something a cat had spit up, he'd clearly been woken up and so was in a terrible mood. He made his displeasure known, as he informed the group that they only had a couple of two bedroom rooms left, so Sam and Dean paired up, leaving Castiel and Jack to share the adjacent room.

"There's leftover food in the communal kitchen if you want." The manager said pointing vaguely to a room at the end of the hallway.

He paused again to take in the unkempt appearance of the men before him again and scowled in distaste. "There better not be any trouble, no funny business." He said in warning.

"Do you anticipate trouble?" Castiel asked out aloud in the direction of the manager.

"Of course not! Err…thank you for the food." Sam called out hurriedly. Dean rolled his eyes at his brother.

"Go shower, you smell." The manager replied grumpily. "But don't use up all the hot water." He called out as he dragged his feet to the managerial suite.

Castiel simply raised an eyebrow at the man then sniffed his arm pits. Jack did the same.

Sam shook his head disapprovingly at the three others.

* * *

Presently the four of them were gathered in Sam and Dean's room playing cards and enjoying greasy chips, hard sticks of garlic bread and semi-warm cheesy ravioli that Dean hadn't heated up properly in the microwave. It was all that was left in the kitchen.

After three bites Sam decided he couldn't have anymore. "Eugh. I can't eat this." He pulled a disgusted face, promptly dropping his chips. "I'm gonna head to the showers."

Sam got up and picked up the complementary towel that had come with the room. He narrowed his eyes at it suspiciously. "Hopefully the bathroom is finally free". Sam muttered to himself. He exited the room and proceeded down the dimly lit corridor to the communal bathroom at the center of the hallway.

"Your loss" Dean said distractedly, already reaching for his brother's discarded chips.

Jack lay down on top of one of the beds and listened to Dean and Castiel. He felt tired, but sleep continued to elude him.

"I should probably head to my own room." Jack said to himself. "And I need to shower." He unintentionally let out of loud sigh.

"Can't sleep?" Dean asked, not looking up from his cards.

"Yeah." Jack admitted. He considered joining their card game, but he had already witnessed Dean cheat Castiel out of $70, and he himself didn't wish to become the next prey.

"You should not have napped in the car." Castiel added, he looked so serious, as though the cards in his hand held the meaning of life itself.

Dean smiled slyly as he proceeded to take another $20 from Castiel.

"I do not like this game." Castiel announced finally.

Dean laughed heartily and shrugged in an exaggerated fashion.

"Let's play one more time." Castiel said seriously.

"Your loss." Dean said for the second time that night.

Jack sighed at Castiel's predicament, finally giving up on the idea of sleeping. "I'm going to go check out the motel art in the lobby, maybe some walking might wear me out."

Dean looked at him like he was crazy. "Okay, suit yourself."

"Don't go outside." Castiel called out as Jack left the room.

* * *

Jack observed the art work with mild interest. There were rows of paintings of abstract landscapes. He hummed at the colour scheme in agreement, the burnt oranges, mustard yellows and cornflower blues strangely blended in nicely with the olive wallpaper of the motel.

He moved from the lobby back into the hallway to look at the paintings that lined the walls, intending to slowly make his way up to his room after that. Jack passed the communal bathroom, he could hear Sam showering in there.

"Dean is right, Sam sure does take a long time in the shower." Jack noted to himself.

Bored and no longer interested in looking at anymore paintings, he turned to leave, but that's when he heard it, a rhythmic rapping noise. Instinctively Jack went on guard and cautiously moved towards the source of the sound, tiptoeing quietly but quickly down the corridor. It was coming from one of the bedrooms. Jack stood in front of a door, and the thumping was unmistakably coming from behind there he decided.

He pressed his hands against the wall next to the door and felt the regular vibrations. "What is that?" Jack said quietly to himself. Someone moaned as though they were in pain. Jack felt anxious, "What if someone is in trouble?" He considered going back and getting Dean and Castiel for back up, suddenly aware of the fact that he didn't have a weapon on him.

A strangled gasp escaped the room and Jack decided he needed to act now. He launched himself at the door, using the side of his shoulder to violently push it open. The door spun on its hinges and noisily hit the wall on the interior side of the room.

A woman screamed in surprise.

Jack paused to take in the scene before him, he simply stood in the doorway stunned. There was an overweight naked man repeatedly slapping a woman that lay under him with his body.

Upon spotting Jack, the man paused his activity and hovered over the woman, he looked at the newcomer in shock. The woman looked terrified, she used that brief pause to hastily grab at the bed sheets and cover herself.

"Are you fucking insane?!" The man shrieked.

"Get away from her!" Jack shouted as he finally willed his legs to move. He saw the lampshade beside the bed and made a dive for it, he thought he could use it to hit the man over the head.

"Get the fuck out!" The man yelled, also making a move to get up.

Just as Jack was about to grab the lampshade, he heard rapid footsteps behind him. He spun around anticipating an attack. He was shocked to see Sam standing there, towel haphazardly tied around his waist, still dripping wet from his shower.

"Jack!" Sam spoke urgently. "Are you alright?! I heard someone scream."

"No!" Jack yelled desperately. "This man is trying to hurt this woman!"

"What?!" The man glared back defensively. "How dare you!"

Sam looked at the couple on the bed, taking in their nudity and quickly putting two and two together. Was Jack trying to say that this man was trying to force himself on this woman? His eyes darkened at the thought.

"This man is insane!" The naked man yelled back viciously pointing at Jack. He quickly covered his front with a pillow realizing he was exposing himself. "He just burst in here." He continued, giving Jack a filthy look, he might have been able to take on Jack if it had been him alone, but now there are two of them he thought sourly.

Sam ignored the man and addressed the woman. "Are you alright miss?"

"Of course I'm not alright!" She cried angrily.

Jack could see she was shaking under the sheets, he took a step towards her protectively, ready to jump into action any second.

"What is wrong with all of you?!" She seethed. "This is a private room! I'm here trying to enjoy a night with my husband, when you just barge in here! How dare you?!" She looked angrily between Jack and Sam.

"So you're okay?" Sam asked uncertainly.

"I will be when you all get the hell out of our room!" She replied venomously.

Jack looked at her with concern.

"If you don't leave right now, I'm going to call the police." Said the angry naked man.

A horrifying realization began to dawn Sam, as he swept his eyes over the woman, the naked man and Jack, he felt his mouth hang open.

Jack noticed Sam turning red. "Sam are you okay?!"

Sam numbly tugged at the hem of Jack's shirt. "Jack we need to leave." He said calmly.

"What?! We can't just leave! He was hurting her!" Jack exclaimed.

"Now listen here young man." The naked man said sharply, though still not moving from his spot on the bed.

"Jack we need to leave now!" Sam said more firmly.

Jack noted the seriousness in his voice and looked back at the couple dumbfounded.

"But…l" Jack started.

"We're so sorry! This has all been a terrible misunderstanding!" Sam stumbled on his words as he pulled Jack towards the door. He used his other hand to secure the towel around this waist, his own partial nudity adding to his embarrassment.

At this point Sam was practically pushing Jack out the door, much to the other's annoyance.

"Fucking unbelievable." They heard the man say as Sam shut the door.

Still clad in only a towel, Sam stopped at the bathroom to pick up his clothes.

"Why did we just leave?" Jack questioned him, clearly still upset.

"We can talk some more once I put some clothes on." Sam shot back irately. It was rare that Sam would speak to him in that way, Jack couldn't help but feel a little hurt. It must have showed on his face.

The older man softened his gaze and sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, I didn't…" Sam started, not sure of what to say. "Jack…do you know what that was?"

"He was hurting her." Jack said sounding sure of himself, glancing back at the room they had just left.

"No…he wasn't." Sam said slowly, he sighed again as the other tilted his head in confusion. Jack's answer confirmed Sam's theory that Jack didn't know what sex was.

"Jack listen." Sam tried again.

Jack looked up at Sam expectantly, for the first time noticing the bruising on his torso from where the older man he had apparently fallen in the garden.

"Look I'll tell you what, why don't you shower up?" Sam said causally. Jack let himself be nudged towards the cubicle. "There's some soap and shampoo in there. I'll bring you a towel in a bit."

"Okay." Jack said uncertainly, he turned back to the older man. "Did I do something wrong?"

"We can talk more later." Sam replied reassuringly. He paused at the doorway and looked back at Jack who had still not moved. "I'm not mad." Sam said and offered a small strained smile.

Jack also smiled back, but he was undeniably and thoroughly confused over what had just occurred.

* * *

Inside Sam and Dean's room, Dean's voice roared with laughter.

"I see, so that's what happened." Castiel said seriously.

"Oh man, I wish I had been there to see that!"

"Dean this isn't funny!" Sam glared at his brother.

"No its fucking hilarious!" Dean almost fell off his chair wheezing. "I almost feel sorry for him!"

Sam could feel his lips twitching upwards, aching to join in the laughter but he forced it down. "Stop being so damn immature. We're lucky nothing more happened."

Dean sobered up slightly, taking in his brother's expression. "Look, its not a big deal. Someone just needs to teach the guy about the sweet old birds and bees!"

Simultaneously, both Sam and Dean's heads turned to face the angel in the room.

Castiel stared back helplessly.

* * *

 **A/N: And that's chapter 1! Its kind of a mix of humour and drama I guess. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it!**

 **As always, please excuse any grammar/spelling errors.**

 **NEXT CHAPTER: "Chapter two: A talk with Castiel"**


	2. Chapter 2 A talk with Castiel

**Summary: After an embarrassing incident at a motel following a hunt, it has become apparent that Jack does not know the facts of life. Sam, Dean and Castiel take turns giving Jack the "the talk". Hilarity ensues, plus some drama. Brotherly/family/friendship fic, no pairings.**

 **Warnings: Some description of suggestive sexual acts, nothing graphic. Coarse language/cursing.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

 **A/N 1: There are no pairings, any original characters are only in passing and will not be a central part of the story.**

 **A/N 2: Bear with me, the chapter is a little slow moving in the beginning, but you'll get it if you read down to the very end. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter two: A talk with Castiel**

"Why would I teach Jack about birds and bees?" Castiel asked.

"The saying birds and bees is just a euphemism to describe courtship and sexual intercourse." Sam explained.

"Hmmm." Castiel got up from his seat and started to pace the room. "But how should I explain it to him?"

Dean let out a loud belch as he downed the last of his beer. "Look, you were once in a similar boat, remember? Just explain it to him how you'd wish someone had explained it to you when you were tryin' to get ahold of this being human thing, you know."

"I see." Castiel pondered this briefly. "I should show him a pornographic film."

"No!" Sam said abruptly.

"Don't show him a porno dumbass. You'll probably scar him." Dean smiled cheekily lifting his eyebrows dramatically when he saw Sam roll his eyes at him. "Gotta work your way up to that, science textbooks first, upgrade to nudy magazines, then pornos."

"Explain it to him how you would explain it to a child." Sam said ignoring his brother. "You don't want to overwhelm him, but we also can't have Jack being ignorant about this, he's certainly at an age where he should know."

"Explain it to him, like he was a child…" Castiel continued to pace the room.

Dean shrugged when he saw his brother looking at him.

"Look, I hate to rush you Cas." Sam started. "But Jack was pretty rattled earlier, the sooner you explain it to him, the sooner he can make his peace with what he saw."

"Alright, I will speak with him tonight." Castiel felt at a loss, but he proceeded towards the door with determination.

"Here, give him this towel." Sam tossed a towel at Castiel which the angel caught with ease.

"He's gonna screw this up." He heard Dean say to Sam as he shut the door.

After randomly selecting a pair of clothes from Jack's bag, the angel headed in the direction of the bathroom.

He knocked on the door gently. "It is Castiel." He paused wondering if the other had heard him. "I've bought your clothes and a towel."

Jack opened the door and stuck out the top half of his body and gratefully accepted the items.

"We need to talk." Castiel said, when they made eye contact. "Finish up, I'll be waiting for you in our room."

Jack stared at him for a few seconds then simply nodded.

Back in Castiel and Jack's shared room, the angel sat on the edge of his bed in deep thought. Castiel was not at all embarrassed by the topic of sex, he didn't understand why some humans were so shy about the subject as it was a very natural act. He was slightly anxious because he was Jack's father figure and he wanted to get the explanation just right. Castiel understood that this talk would be a significant milestone in their relationship.

Jack entered the room and greeted Castiel with a nod. He was aware of Castiel's eyes on him as he deposited his dirty clothes in a plastic bag and placed his wet towel on the back of a lone chair.

Castiel cleared his throat to get the other's attention, then reached across and tapped the bed opposite to his to signal he wanted Jack to sit down there.

"Sam told us what happened." He started.

"I thought the man was attacking her." Jack said, frowning lightly. "He looked like he was trying to hit her with his whole body."

Castiel nodded in understanding. "It was kind of you to try and help-"

"But clearly I was wrong." Jack interrupted him, he couldn't help but sound a little hurt. "I get that from the way you are all acting."

Castiel decided the best way to address this was to be direct. "Jack, in this instance, no one was being attacked, they were having sex."

"Sex?"

"Yes." The angel nodded. "Do you know what sex is?"

"It is an act humans and other organisms carry out for the sake of reproduction."

Castiel felt relieved that Jack knew that much. "Well that's one of the reasons yes, sometimes people do it simply for pleasure...among other reasons." He trailed off.

"I came across it my reading, although I have never knew how it was performed." Jack studied the green carpet of their motel room thoughtfully.

"It is often, but not always a loving and intimate act, hence why the couple was so angry when you interrupted them."

"I see". Jack paused to mull things over. "I should apologize."

"For now, I think its best to leave them be."

Castiel watched Jack for a few minutes as he processed what had been said to him. His face displayed a series of expressions, he finally settled on a confused look. It pulled at Castiel's heart to see him look like a lost child.

"But then Castiel, how exactly does one engage in such an activity?" The younger look genuinely puzzled. "I don't understand how this leads to a baby."

The angel had been expecting that. Sam's words about overwhelming him had come to mind, so Castiel decided the best way to describe this to Jack would be through representation.

"Say you wanted to bake a cake."

Jack looked at the angel expectantly.

"The baby is the cake or the end product."

Jack nodded for him to continue.

"But first you need you mix the ingredients." Castiel stopped to find the right words. "But in order for humans to mix their ingredients or genetic material, the man needs get inside the woman to do that."

"Because the baby grows inside the woman."

"Yes." Castiel nodded, pleased that Jack was clearly following his explanation. "The female is like the mixing bowl and the baking dish."

Jack squinted his eyes in concentration, then looked back at Castiel indicating he was ready to hear more.

"The man uses his member." Castiel held up his index finger. "And places it in the woman." The angel used his other hand to vaguely circle over his lower abdomen and crotch area.

Jack made an O shape with his mouth and tilted his head back slightly. "I understand."

Castiel rolled up his sleeves, he used his left hand to join his middle finger and thumb together to make a circle then used his index finger on his right hand to demonstrate going in and out of the hole.

Jack studied the action carefully. "But then why were they completely naked?"

"You don't necessarily have to be naked…you just need to have the necessary equipment exposed."

"Ahh, I see."

Jack nodded knowingly, as though everything suddenly made sense. "When I saw the couple earlier, the man was being rather rough."

Castiel shrugged. "Sometimes humans are aggressive."

"Doesn't it hurt the woman?" Jack asked looking concerned. "Since she is on the receiving end." He added.

"Sometimes, which is why it is important to prepare."

Jack opened his mouth, but Castiel held up a hand, knowing Jack was probably going to ask more questions. "We can talk more about that later."

"I think I would like to try sex sometime." Jack said suddenly. "You mentioned that sometimes people do it for pleasure."

"I don't think you're ready." Castiel said quickly. He sighed tiredly, his body reminding him he was exhausted. "It is an extensive topic and we have only scratched the surface, we can talk more about this tomorrow when we get back to the bunker."

Jack noticed the worn out look on Castiel's face, he also felt beat. Jack longingly eyed the pillow on his bed. He turned back to the man sitting across him and smiled gratefully. "Thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to explain this to me."

"You're welcome." Castiel couldn't help but feel proud of Jack for handling things so well.

"And Dean thought I would screw up." Castiel muttered under his breath.

"Pardon? I didn't hear what you said."

"It's nothing important, get some rest."

* * *

The next morning Castiel told the others that he had informed Jack about the birds and the bees.

"He knows the basics, I will start formal tutelage once we return to the bunker."

Sam looked relieved.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Kill joy. You're gonna bore him, and he's never gonna wanna have sex once you're through with him."

"He informed me that he wishes to try out sex." Castile said neutrally.

"What?" Sam eyes bulged. "Already?"

"No way!" Dean suddenly turned serious. "He's too young." He said defensively, leaving no room for argument.

"He has a young and innocent mind." Castiel said more to himself than to the other occupants in the room. "But he's had to grow up fast." He said sullenly. "Too fast…"

"Let's not talk about this now." Sam said when he saw Jack approaching them.

Jack smiled as he entered the room, his bag slung casually over his shoulder. "Good morning."

"Morning." Dean answered, as he stuffed his dirty clothes into his bag.

Jack eyed Sam for a few seconds. "About last night…" He started.

Sam held up his hands in a pacifying manner. "You didn't know, don't worry about it.

Jack nodded gratefully.

"Ready to leave?" Sam asked casually in hopes of changing the subject.

"Yep I'm all set."

"Wait." Dean stopped packing. "We're leaving without breakfast?"

"Dean, we're been living off junk food for every meal last week, we must have swallowed a whole bottle of oil each by now."

"That doesn't seem accurate." Castiel started. "To have consumed even a 500ml bottle of oil, we would have-"

Sam gave the angel a sharp look and he immediately shut up knowing his input was not welcome.

"It's a little out our way, but there's a town about half an hour from here." Jack informed. "I saw it on the map in the lobby."

"Perfect." Sam said as he made his way towards the door and held it open for everyone. "We can find a healthy place to eat, and stock up on our supplies while we're in town."

"Yes mother." Dean replied moodily, lamenting the fact that he'd have to drive on an empty stomach.

* * *

It had just gone past ten o'clock when they drove into town. Much to Sam's dismay, the place only had one diner and a bar, naturally filled with mostly greasy food. Sam sat down and glumly ate a sad looking kale and egg porridge, while Dean smirked triumphantly as he chewed into his foot long cheese and onion breakfast sandwich and took a swig of his coffee with extra rich cream.

"I think I'm gonna order seconds." Dean said as he thoughtfully studied the display menu on their table.

Sam raised his eyebrows in surprise at him.

"What? After this week, I've earned it." His brother defended.

"Yeah, I think I will get a double chocolate muffin." Jack chimed in as he finished the last of his syrupy waffles.

"That's the spirit." Dean fondly patted Jack on his back. "I think I'll get a muffin too, maybe a banana caramel one."

Sam scoffed in amusement. "Fine you two finish up here, I'll go get the groceries."

"Cas, you coming?"

"Yes, that is fine." He replied.

"Hey, you're not gonna pay?" Dean called after them as they got up to leave. "I paid for the motel!"

"Yeah, and now I'm going to pay for the groceries." Sam hit back.

"Could you get some ketchup?" Jack asked politely.

"Sure."

"Yeah, but none of that low sugar, low salt crap. I want real ketchup!" Dean shouted with his mouth full of food.

Sam grimaced at the visual.

About ten minutes later, Jack finished up the last of his muffin.

"Dude, you need to learn to eat properly, you're covered in crumbs." Dean said teasingly.

"But so are you." Jack pointed out.

"Yeah, but I bet I don't have crumbs on my eyebrow or syrup on the side of my nose."

Jack self-consciously touched his face.

"Unbelievable, how do you even manage?" Dean laughed, trying to figure how a grown man could get crumbs so far up his face.

"I'll be back." Jack said as he got up and rushed off in the direction of the unisex toilet sign.

"Hurry up, we gotta leave soon, otherwise Sam's just gonna buy rabbit food."

Jack cleaned himself off in the toilet quickly, conscious of the fact that Dean was probably waiting on him. He opened the door briskly and rushed out only to be instantly halted as he collided with a young woman who had been trying to enter the toilets the very same time he was trying to leave.

Jack's eyes widened, he instinctively reached out and snaked one of his arms around the woman's waist and the other around her head to lessen the impact as he fell on top of her.

For a moment they both stared into each other's eyes. Jack could feel his heart thumping at the close contact.

She observed him for a moment then frowned. "Asshole, watch where you're going."

He smiled at her sheepishly. "Sorry, that was my fault. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She said sounding annoyed, but there was no real malice in her voice. "But you can get off me now."

Jack laughed lightly. "Yeah, you're kind of crushing my hand."

"Are you trying to say I'm heavy?" She smiled teasingly.

"That's not what I meant." Jack replied pleasantly. "But I really should pull my hand out, its at an awkward angle under you."

Jack wiggled his arm that was pinned down under the girl to emphasize his point, he looked down and saw the girl was wearing a crop top. He suddenly froze, his face turning white.

"What?" She asked sounding worried. "You couldn't have broken your hand."

"You're hole is exposed!" Jack said in alarm, staring at her belly button.

"Excuse me?!" She asked sounding perfectly offended.

"My finger could have touched your hole when we fell." Jack said with wide eyes as he recalled his conversation with Castiel. "I could have gotten you pregnant!"

"Are you insane?!" She roughly pushed him off and Jack numbly fell against the wall. "Is this some kind of a joke? Obviously I'm not pregnant!"

Jack looked up at her confused. "So you cannot conceive? Are you saying you're sterile?"

"What is wrong with you?" She demanded angrily. "Are you high?"

Jack stared at her desperately, his mouth opening and closing.

"Okay, weirdo, I'm outta of here."

Jack shakily made his way back to the table.

"What took you so-Jack what's wrong?" Dean asked seriously upon seeing the look on the other's face.

"Dean." Jack started desperately his voice trembling, he sounded like a lost child.

"What happened?" Dean asked worriedly. He jumped to his feet, one hand going to his gun as his eyes scanned the diner for danger.

"I think I may have had sex with a girl…" Jack started not quite able to look the other in the eye.

"Come again." He frowned.

"I said I think I may-"

"I heard you!" Dean snapped as he let go of his gun and eased himself back into his seat. "But what the hell are you talking about?" His mind raced a mile a minute.

"I was in the toilet." Jack started quietly. "And when I walked out there was this woman."

"You had sex?!" Dean interrupted him, he stared at the young man before him, mouth agape. "And that quickly?!" He asked incredulously. "You didn't even know what sex was until yesterday!"

"Well it was an accident." Jack pleaded, internally begging the other would lower his voice.

Dean's eyes widened, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Jack. Tell me exactly what happened." He demanded with an unreadable expression on his face.

It only made Jack feel more anxious, he swallowed a few times and slowly started to explain what had happened.

Dean felt more and more confused to the point of being irritated. "What do you mean she was exposed?" He demanded. "Why the hell wasn't she wearing pants? Why weren't you wearing pants if you were leaving the toilets?"

Dean couldn't help but feel exasperated by the other's explanation. "You're not making sense Jack."

"Our pants never came off Dean." Jack said quickly.

Dean regarded the flustered looking man opposite him. "So…it was oral then?" Dean asked awkwardly.

"What's oral?"

Dean sighed and leaned across the table so his was closer to Jack. "Did you put it in her mouth?"

"My finger?" Jack asked looking completely perplexed.

"Not your finger!" Dean hissed.

"No Dean, I don't understand what you're talking about."

"Well that makes two of us!"

Jack regarded Dean and realized he wasn't getting through to the other. He gingerly held up his index finger. "Castiel showed me last night." Jack circled over his abdomen and crotch, much in the same way Castiel had.

Dean arched an eyebrow at the motion. "Dude, what the hell are you doing? Do you have indigestion?"

"No, I'm demonstrating sex."

"What?!" Dean leapt forward almost bumping into Jack's forehead.

Jack replicated what Castiel had showed him.

"Stop that!" Dean demanded urgently.

"Do you see now why I'm worried?" Jack said with a grave face. "The girl was wearing a short top, so when I fell I don't know if I touched her hole or not."

"Her hole?" Dean's mouth hung open. "You mean on…her stomach?" He said slowly.

Jack nodded soberly.

Dean stared dumbfounded. He felt one of his eyelids twitching, so he rubbed his faced roughly with his palms and covered his eyes because he just couldn't look at Jack at that moment. Dean couldn't believe what Jack was saying, he thought he could get a woman pregnant but touching her belly button! He didn't know whether to laugh or whack Jack on the head.

Jack stared at the man across him worriedly because neither had said anything for a minute. "Dean?"

"Jack." Dean said calmly looking the other straight in the eye. "You didn't have sex and no one is pregnant." He was surprised at how collected he sounded.

Jack looked as confused as ever. "I don't understand."

"Clearly!" Dean couldn't keep his cool any longer, he slammed his hands down on the table rattling the cutlery on their plates and startling Jack in his seat. "I knew I couldn't trust Castiel to get this right! He had one job dammit!" He seethed.

Jack stared intently, waiting for the other to elaborate.

Dean bore into the young man sitting across, he could feel his left eye beginning to spasm again. Unable to maintain the silence any longer, Dean then let out a frustrated groan.

"You and I need to have a little chat."

* * *

 **A/N 1: Just pretend Jack is a lot more ignorant/naïve/adorably clueless than he is on the show.**

 **A/N 2: I didn't realize there were so many other stories on this site called "The birds and the bees" or something to that effect, I would have picked a different title if I had known. Oh well, too late now.**

 **Anyway, please let me know if you spot spelling/grammar mistakes. I will fix then.**

 **Huge thank you to all those who favourited and followed. And a special thank you to "Multireader", "roseofmyheart", "Hi", "Cristina", "Guest", "SallyBranden" and "daisygirl1980" for taking the time to review my first chapter. Much appreciated guys!**

 **Hope you all enjoyed that. Until next time x**


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